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a poem by Aleathia Drehmer

No Freedom to Find

It is a hard life
living inside yourself
disharmonious spaces
cut from every fiber
known to creation
none of which fit you
in a flattering way,
none hang comfortable
or even simple
about your shoulders
and this movement
of time loses you
and scatters bits
of you silently
and without your

The struggle
to be honest to the core
and to find that level
of connection
to the world
is a repeated death
you gladly stand up
to, gladly smile
down its twin barrel
just to feel
to hurt
to love
to cry under
the pressure of joy
or sorrow.

What you find
never equals
what they expect
of you, or what you
know you are capable of
but it somehow has to be
enough to appease
the ghost of yourself
staring close and cold
in the mirror.

© by Aleathia Drehmer
Gutter Eloquence Magazine ~ Issue #19 ~ January 2012    return to top